Because all things are not created equal… and I like playing with graphs.

Let’s break down these numbers a little:

1. I’m grading on a “How well you do what you’re supposed to do” system. I don’t care what the burger & fries are like at the Spanish tapas place- it’s a tapas place. If you’re ordering the burger at a Spanish restaurant, you’re a picky asshole. Just go to Wendy’s and be done with it.

2. Price is the X-factor. An awesome meal isn’t as awesome when it totally burns a hole in your wallet. I’m all for indulging (as this blog makes chubbily obvious),  but… I forget what I was saying. I saw a picture of pork buns on the internets.

3. “Funness” is the scientific catch-all for ambiance, waitstaff and general experiential stuff. I tend to like small, homey places with good music, dark lighting and talkative cooks. You can score an 11 out of 10, if someone makes a volcano out of ANYTHING.